I have heard a lot of offensive names over my years as a teacher. The most offensive name that I can recall today is one student telling another student that they were retarded because they did something incorrectly. The child that got the insult was a normal child but his friend was being mean not knowing how offensive the word was.
At that time, I had a child that was mentally retarded. I felt really bad for her because of the condition that she was born in and it was not her fault. I would explain to the student who insulted another student if they knew what that word meant.
Teaching children at ages 6-7 years old, they do not understand everything. I would want to know why that mean comment was made and that he had hurt his friend's feelings. The student meant know harm but still words can really hurt. Children also heard older siblings using offensive words and think that it is alright to use it with their peers.
I would also explain that no one should be called "retarded" because there might be someone who is special needs and they have no one idea how that may make they feel. Also, I would ask the student: How would you feel if I called you retarded? How would that make you feel? By putting that student into the other persons shoe, she was able to understand where I was coming from.
My conversation was helpful and I think that he learned his lesson. He apologized to his friend for what was said and they were able to remain friends again.
I worked with a child who did not celebrate holidays in my classroom and they made it hard for me to not include them in our class festivities. I was able to deal with it and respected the way she was raised. As a teacher, I do not understand everything and continue to learn as I grow. I would ask another teacher if that student could do some work in their classroom, while my class continued with our holiday activities. I have learned to respect every one's beliefs, religion, culture, etc. that has entered my classroom. It can be heartbreaking at times but it is not the child's fault. I want all my children to be a part of our classroom celebrations.
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I've heard children call each other retarted all the time... they just don't understand. I think it's good to teach them early on and you did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteWith the child who could not clebrate the holidays could you just put a diffrent term on it? Such as, for Christmas say a 'winter festivle' or something like that? I'm sure it was hard for her as well not being included.
I hear children (and adults) say that all the time, about other people or about themselves. I assume people just don't think about the fact that that does mean something more than, "oh, I made a mistake." In my classroom when I do something, I always say, "that was silly, I don't know what I was thinking," or "I wasn't thinking straight." I don't know that it's the best answer, but I hope it models a good response.
ReplyDeleteYes, Autumn I do change the term on certain holidays. That does make a difference and I am still respecting the parents feelings about celebrating the holidays. It can be hard at times but I have never had a problem modifying things to make my children happy and feeling apart of the group.
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